Zoloft and Shit

So today I'm like uber depressed and anxious, but it's kind of my fault. So a while ago (this adds up to maybe a week) I go to get my Zoloft from my doctor, because I'm almost out and it would be a really bad idea to not take it. Unless I really want to get horrible panic attacks and never get out of bed and be a complete psycho bitch to everyone I know.

Okay, so I go into the Pharmacy at my hospital (it's not actually a hospital. It's just a building with doctors and shit in it, but I always call it a hospital even though it has a real name like "Doctor's office" or something. Or I could just call it Kaiser) and ask for a refill on that, and my other various medications. I get the other medications, but she tells me that I cannot get my Zoloft because my doctor didn't refill it like he should've.

Instead of asking her to email my doctor, I did a walk of shame back to my train to go home. When my Zoloft ran out, I realized this was actually going to be a problem. I went back in, and got this sweet Russian dude named Sergery. (I think that's how it's spelled, because in my head I read his name off his tag like Surgery, but it's actually pronounced Sir-gay. Not Sir Gay though. Put it all together, folks) He went into the back room, and brought out three pills for me to tide me over, and emailed my doctor. I didn't even have to ask! Apparently he understands what Zoloft is for.

So he tells me to call back in a week, maybe sooner, to see if #1. My doc responded and #2 if the Pharmacy actually filled it. Well three pills=three days for me, so when I ran out of that the panic set in. As well as the depression. I go to college, by the way. In one of my classes I had a panic attack during a guest lecture, and I left class for a moment to take an ativan because I am paranoid about people seeing my ativan. So I came back and cowered in the corner nearest to the door, instead of going back to my seat. Apparently I was not as invisible as I assumed, because the TA came and asked what was up as well as another student who refers to me as Purple Hat instead of by my actual name. He gave me a candy cane, and repeatedly asked how I was doing. This was nice, but not helpful to me.

So then this morning, I got in trouble with my boyfriend for not texting fast enough, even though I promised I would work on it. Then I started panicking and crying and shit, but he was texting me, so he couldn't notice, and then I told him, and he freaked out that I hadn't bothered to tell him that I have been depressed. PRO TIP: Do not yell at someone who is in the middle of a panic attack. This makes it worse.

So that's my morning so far.