Haven't posted in a while.
Something that bothers me is this little thing called the "friendzone."
Guess what? It's not real.
Really!
You might think it is, but really, it's just you being depressed that some girl/guy doesn't want to date you because you've been best friends foevah!
BEING NICE DOES NOT GIVE YOU ACCESS TO THE PANTS.
Yes, it sure as hell helps. But I don't fall for every single guy who is nice to me. In fact, my boyfriend if three years wasn't the one to ask me out! You can be as nice as you want to a girl, but there are probably real reasons why she won't date you--not just "Oh we're friends. I don't date friends."
YES THEY DO.
Unless they're stupid, or, in my case, in high school, they want to be friends first. Yes, I dated a guy I wasn't friends with, but I was in a club with him, so I knew a little bit about him. Also I was a stupid sophomore in high school. I knew he was a sweet guy, he was funny, and he was never mean to any of the club members. No, I didn't know anything about his life. This is usually a bad thing. In this instance, it worked out. But I have dated guys in this fashion before. And you know what? It usually fails miserably.
You might be thinking "well that's what dating is for!" You'd be right. But dating is ONLY DATING. Just because you're 'dating' someone doesn't mean you are exclusive! That's how middle schoolers and high schoolers work. The whole dating thing is to help you get to know this person. Most people don't want to just date someone. You get to play the field while you're dating, until you and this person decide you want to be exclusive. The people who jump into being boyfriend-girlfriend ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FIRST.
This person probably doesn't want to date you simply because they are not attracted to you. People are attracted to all sorts of things. But you might not be one of them. Sure they might think you're attractive, but maybe you aren't vegan, but they are, and that's a super important part of their life. Or maybe you love kids, but they absolutely can't stand them. Or you might be a horrible slob! They love you--they just can't ever imagine dating you. I'm sorry about that, but you can't just turn up your niceness dial and hope it works.
Sometimes, the person will fall for you. And that's great! Good for you! But there was never a 'friendzone," just like there isn't a 'datingzone.' If the friendzone really exists, EVERYONE is in the friendzone until someone catches your eye, and then THEY enter the datingzone.
So calm the fuck down.
If they don't want to date you, MOVE ONE. Stop being Severus Snape. Seriously. He was super creepy. Lily clearly wasn't interested, but he was all "LILY YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE LOVE" even after she DIED.
Don't be that guy.
Be Ginny.
Move on to the next person, and maybe, just maybe, the person will be attracted to you one day. And you have completely moved on? That's fine, because you've found someone who actually likes you and cares about you, instead of some person you're pining over.
