What's up world?

Hello! So I just made this blog, but I'm not really sure what it's for yet. I guess it'll be a little online journal. Like livejournal but without the awkward suicide attempts. So for my first entry, I'll talk a little about my superfly job at Ikea. I work with kids and it's pretty great. But there are things that I hate about it. Here they are:


#1. Before you ask me ANYTHING about how to get out of the store, please actually bother to look at any of the signs that are hung EVERYWHERE IN THE STORE. Or the multiple maps that have handy little takeaway maps with them. Maybe you could even, I dunno, follow the GIANT ARROWS on the ground? If you have done all these steps and are still hopelessly confused, then you may ask me. I have shit to do that's more important than dealing with people who ask questions before even bothering to figure it out themselves.

#2. Please don't awkwardly stare into Smaland. I work in Smaland, and you look like a fucking pedophile. If you want to know more about it, you can ask us, or read the signs at the front of Smaland. You can look into Smaland. I just don't like the weirdos who stare in Smaland for more than a minute. It's kind of creepy.

#3. If I am wearing jacket over my work shirt, but you can still tell that I'm a coworker, DON'T ASK ME QUESTIONS. I am on my break. My BREAK. On my break, I don't want to answer your questions. I want to relax and clear my mind.

#4. Don't stare at me when I am in line to get food at the restaurant. I am human, I need to eat too. It's honestly not that weird that I'm at the restaurant that Ikea has provided. YES there is a staff cafe, but it's kinda gross and closes absurdly early.

#5. Please don't put your 11 year old in Smaland. I don't care that they meet the height requirement. If your 11 year old is that hard to shop with, they are either mentally retarded, or you shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

#6. Seriously, DON'T LEAVE IKEA when you drop your kid off. We're not a daycare. We don't feed your child, and we will call the cops if we have to overhead you to pick up your damn kid and you don't show up.

#7. Stop trying to sneak kids who aren't potty trained into Smaland. When they pee everywhere, we'll call you and you'll have to take them with you, and we'll be super mad with you.

#8. If we can't take your kid for whatever reason, CHILL THE FUCK OUT. It's not the end of the world. Please stop screaming. Seriously, it won't change our minds. We'll just think you're mentally unstable.